MINDfulness — FLOW

flow

contentment

alignment

Mellow Mornings + MOVEment + Meditation has been a new practice I’ve been incorporating in my daily routine. Giving myself the time in the morning to let heavy emotions move through me and not sneak up in the midst of my busy days. It’s been a wonderful change of pace. I’ve spent most my mornings waking up at 4-5am for the past 7 years, rushing out the door to coach either the 5am or 6am CrossFit class at my gym. Go, go go was my speed. I remember someone once said to me that “what I get done in one day, they barely get done in a week”. Which in that moment made me proud, but recently I came to realize what I was really missing out on, and it was something called LIVING.

Slowing down has allowed me to pay attention to the ways we MOVE our bodies. Starting my day out on level 100, became quite exhausting, and left me little room to really just BE. I would start my mornings out coaching, and then hit the ground running with the never ending to do list to make all things Femme Royale happen, or deal with the crazy hiccups of running a business on a small island with limited resources. For a while I was coaching all the classes at the gym and wouldn’t even have nights off. But as I slowly built my team I was allowed to have a little more time in the evenings, but by then I was exhausted and had nothing left to give at the end of the day.

One of my favorite components of the XPT training was the breathwork. The breathwork helped me to slow down & feel into my body. To feel my emotions as they arose, and MOVE through them without adding more stress on my body.

Becoming more mindful of our breath awareness and consciousness is hands down one of the most difficult yet liberating practices I’ve yet to learn. It is all still new to me, and I’m excited to see where the practice takes me. I use to believe that yoga wasn’t for me, no way no how. I always believed my ADD was a hindrance. Or that my anxiety would never let my mind get into a place where there was complete stillness or sense of calmness. It was a foreign feeling and quite honestly scary.

What would it be like? how would I keep my mind distracted with the one million things I have to get done. I was making excuses before I would even get on the yoga mat. Then when I would get on the mat I could barely sit still, the bugs, the distraction from self was so uncomfortable.

My busyness kept me in a hamster wheel of avoidance. I was damn good at it. I loved my work, so there for it didn’t feel like work. Which was just another excuse to not slow down. Of course it wasn’t the work, it was the lifestyle that I created that feed into my self deprecating practices. Do more, add more to the calendar, more events, more more more.

Then it clicked, if I was going to feel into my body, I need to change my training practices. See with CrossFit, there was always something to work on and improve. Or the feelings of never being enough, so you must try harder, put in more time. CrossFit, uses a white board for comparison, and competition. Which don’t get me wrong I love competition, especially with myself. But it was a just a vicious cycle to keep me stuck in my old ways. Do do do do and don’t quit just try harder. CrossFit’s mission is to jump higher, go faster, go longer, be stronger. They edified the success of athletes, never the impact the communities/coaches were having on the day to day life “average” athletes that were just doing enough.

CrossFit has an extremely masculine mindset, alpha male, no pain no gain. Which should NOT be applied to all areas of one’s life, male or female. There needs to be balance of both masculine & feminine daily practices for both women & men. Which is why getting into a more FLOW state of training has shifted my mental game tremendously.

The CrossFit mentality definitely got me far, the discipline, the determination and drive are huge parts of my success as an female entrepreneur. These are all very masculine qualities which it does take to succeed in this modern world that is ever changing.

However, then the world stopped.

Literally, Covid put the world on pause and introspect it was quite beautiful. It was the forced time out I needed. To be still, to not get caught up in the go go go and the hustle and bustle of juggling multiple businesses. Retreats were canceled, events were not happening, my month long Bali Women’s training wasn’t happening (which I can now see how much I was running so fast from my discomfort at any cost). I had nowhere to run to, but sit and be still in one of the most enchanting properties in St Thomas. This was EXACTLY what my heart, mind and soul needed.

This forced me to get quiet, and not have the escape of community to feel connected. It literally forced me to get connected to my true self. To practice daily gratitude for all that I have created in my life, I didn’t just wake up in St Thomas living at the Dolphin house. No I made conscious choices over and over again to bring me closer to what I deeply desire. It made me realize that these trials and tribulations were necessary. To dive deep into some past experiences that shaped who I became over the past 20 years. It forced me to not only acknowledge my anxiety but better understand it. It brought me HOME to myself.

My anxiety has both been a blessing and a curse. It has definitely left me feeling paralyzed and lost in some big emotions. However, learning to be still, meditate, to breath, to slow down my MOVEment has better helped me understand where my anxiety stems from. It has helped me knowledge it’s presence and it has helped me stay true to my gut instincts. It has allowed me to feel connected to better understanding my emotions as they arise and know that these feelings are valid should not be avoided at all costs. To trust myself, and know that if I truly desire to live out my soul’s deepest calling I have to stay in alignment with what feels right to both my mind & heart.

I’m learning that both strength training & mindful movement are the key to getting into a more aligned state of FLOW. That there needs to be a balance between the polarities. When practiced together they can really bring our bodies and minds into a harmony with not only physical benefits but mental, emotional, and spiritual benefits as well. I have loved experimenting on what works for me, and look forward to sharing more with you as we launch our Lioness Academy that will incorporate all MOVEment practices.